I have a walk of shame I should be getting to. "Hey, by the way, what is your name?" is not a conversation I want to have today
I chose taco bell over sex...
good choice.
Becky drew a cock on my face and is making me sit on the step.
what did you do that she drew a cock on your face and supplemental questions why did you let her?
Oh and then this old man who saw it happen goes "don't do that"
Hahaha what a helpful old man. Like you thought it was normal to be spilling gas everywhere.
I may or may not have melted a dent into the top of my minifridge with my hot glue gun, which I left on for the past couple hours unsupervised, while we were on our salvo/savers excursion. Welcome to Halloween in college.
his fiance had made him a calendar of pictures of her. he asked if he should take it down and i said no. i wanted her to watch.
After Thursday my breakup "don't screw anybody out of respect" month will be over and I will be set loose. My pussy is purring with anticipation.
P.S. The slutty NASCAR driver costume will be saved and used year round for role play.
i woke up and saw you were brushing his hair naked. I can never pass out around you, man.
I need you to do me a favor and hide my sword from me tonight. I'm planning on drinking my weight in vodka and I don't trust myself enough to not run through campus screaming "I AM SPARTA!" You'll be saving me a mugshot as well as saving some innocent girls from tears.
Is everyone touching their nose at me a sign that I should stop snorting vicodin off my phone in the bathroom at school?
We are so blessed to to have nicely shaped vaginas
I thank god almighty everyday
I woke up and they were watching power rangers in japanese so I just found my bra and left
Dude, don't put me in a suit and feed me liquor; I'll never go home.
According to the boxer briefs I found on the couch when I got home, I take it your date went well??
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