I'm gunna smoke cigs today. I feel like I'm in that powerful and gritty mood which requires them
there's a wrestler here in a Ferrari//puma hoodie who is telling girls his win//loss record as a pickup line.
the jolly green giant just puched the pope. halloween is the best.
I'm thinking I had intended to send you pics cuz I woke up naked
I feel like a fucked a broomstick last night. You get a gold star.
She's beautiful tan and skinny she will make me hate myself and that's what I need in a friend right now
Careful, it's a slippery slope to discovering you're bisexual...trust me.
Hes trying to fuck me on a bear rug. Not saying no.
I'm like 87% sure some random guy starting biting my ear after grinding me for like 30 seconds... I feel suprisingly unconcerned
New Halloween costume idea: Frankenstorm. We have three hours. Make it work.
I messaged him asking for his address. He replied with the address then said, "If you're gonna stalk me, I'm the third window on the side and usually get naked around 8am and anytime randomly after 6pm (listen for music).. If you're sending anthrax, I'm 6'2" 225lbs so send a good amount."
Piñatas plus fireworks don't mix well
But for real though. That weed tastes like the jolly laughter of Santa Claus.
Dude, I need a fuckin wingman and this could finally make us eskimo brothers, how can you pass that up?
Hungover at Subway, watching a business guy try to squeeze his way past my car to get into his. Bitch shouldn'ta parked over the line.
You truly are a temple of morality.
I am the night, I am justice, I am currently watching the fat biz guy pay a frat boy to back his car up for him so he can get in.
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