giving a 30 min presentation still drunk is like giving birth, upside down in a pit of snakes while being on fire.
Isn't that the only thing she's good at? Complaining and blow jobs?
We were making out when she went into convulsions. At least now I know she's allergic to peanuts.
it's all just a bunch of faces and i remember what the floor looked like.
Just got done fucking the squirter chick. She came when we were in a 69. I now know what it's like to be water boarded.
Look, I'm just saying... paying ur respects to the neighbors who had a death in the family with food u steal from the neighbors having the cookout may result in a negative karma situation.
You cant come. You're a Colorado native who drinks Bud over Coors. Fucking homegrown terrorist.
No work today. I woke up and someone had written "Markhot Penis = Party" on my forehead in sharpie. Do you know a Mark?
dude there's a blind guy on the trail using his service dog to hit on girls.
I'm just waiting for the avalanche of beef.
That would be a mascot riding an ATV at a semi-professional hockey game, if that doesn't sum up how I've been I don't know what could
Remember last NYE when after the 9th shot of tequila you went on full crazy mode and made out with the 50 y/o doorkeeper? and he called you the next day?
sex on a trampoline, in the rain, on ecstasy, just thought you should know.
Either my boss has an enormous dick or he’s hiding a can of tennis balls in his bike shorts
Maybe I will go to the company picnic
We still on for Manwhore Monday?
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