Midget Michael Jackson impersonator dancing to Beat it in Penn Station almost caused me to miss my train. God, I
he had to fake a sneeze attack to hide the fact he came in 15 seconds?!
so its atleast an 8 for creativity.
My facebook horoscope today said I will have a little "confusion". Obviously astrology understands a blackout.
After we hooked up, he left the room and no one has seen him since last night. That kid redefined hit it and quit it.
i proceeded to stick my hands in his pants while he continued to repeat i have a girlfriend
Alright. I will breast feed the first person to get here.
Bring a bathing suit for the glitter slip n slide
I figure that my generation of my family needs an alcoholic. I'll take that burden.
A black suburban rolled up and a scary suited guy got out the passenger side and opened the door for her as she got in. Then drive off. Who did I just fuck?
Yes ma'am. At least you're a warning story I can tell to my kids in the future
For future reference.... When you take a beer out of a 6pack... You don't insert your phone as a substitute.
I just wrote a love letter to my weed and texted it to my cousin. I can't say it any differently. It happened.
The best part of last night is not remembering half of it
Finally fucked my buddy's mom!! We are both ten years older and for her it really shows but i hit it!!
I see more hoeing in ur future
Randomize
