I woke up at 7am naked in my bathtub with the shower running. My apartment was so full of steam that my ceiling was dripping. Who thought it would be okay for me to get my own place, anyway?
So chef boyardee smells exactly the same after you throw it up
i literally discovered the exact same thing last week. i had the lasagna one
ravioli
I sent her a Relationship Request on Facebook last night, she accepted and we fucked.. I changed my Relationship Status to Single, I think she'll get the point
mid-sex i was thinking.. these are not the right balls slapping me
Watching water boil has never been so amazing. I love wake-and-bakes.
dizzyuy bat. 3.453 lkos. hoit sx, now im single. blackouteed
thanks for waiting 12 hours to ask if I was in a ditch or not
I literally just wiped coffee off of the corner of my mouth with my boob because my hands were full. Thought youd be proud. Good morning!
he looks SO much like Drake, I feel like an extreme groupie every time we have sex.
Defrosting my uncrustable with my laptop...Hungover dinner
He's only done it missionary. His world is about to be rocked. Do you know what I look like from behind?
Omg that was my second thought of the morning.
First was that we had pop tarts.
BTW, does Anne know that we used the lipstick she is currently wearing to was used to write the word "ASS" on my ass cheeks last night?
I found a bar with Metallica and a fire eater. I'm home
lol hangovers are for mortals.
Randomize
