apparently people get pissed when you take the bag of wine out of the franzia box and put it in your purse before leaving the party
Just spent 45mins blow drying a joint i dropped in a beer....i felt like i dropped his infant child....
you called her butter tits and then threw up in your cup. i dont know if theres any way to come back from that
Sometimes he has weird facial hair...Basically he has a penis... that's what he's got going for him.
sooo I am sorta kinda using your name as my stripper stage name.
He just kept yelling cup my balls to everyone they kicked us out after 20 min
I don't think the best pickup line was. Hey I have never made a girl orgasm before but I'm sure it will work on someone like you.
This is NOT the time to take our hits and go to Disney. Let me repeat that. NOT THE TIME FOR DISNEY ON ACID
We have to have sex twice when i get back. I miss you sex, and thank god the nhl lockout is over sex. I will happily let you wear your sharks jersey during it and i will wear my ducks jersey, and it will be mad rivalry sex.
Was considering going to moonshine but I think I'm just gonna stay home and drink beer because there is no law against partial nudity here.
My boss doesn't know what jello shots are. I've lost faith in this company.
I just peed on a rich man's lawn fuck yeah America
At one point we were both in the bathroom and i was taking a shit while holding your hair as you puked in the sink. Friendship.
I smell like a mix of alcohol, sweat, and sex and its only 10 AM
My roommate's overnight guest is screaming about the dog licking his asshole. I need a new place to live.
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