Is masturbating to pics of your ex on Facebook considered cheating?
You are proof that most things are best left unsaid.
I think even Ryan Seacrest is disgusted with the thought of Ryan Seacrest getting some.
a creepy fucking ass man came up and started raven cawwing in my ear... he said it was the raven mating call. i am officially freaked out
you sang the finger bang song from south park while fingering me. needless to say, kind of a turn off.
So i wrote 'don't sex me' on my stomach, so that if we got to a point where my shirt is off - he would know how i really feel, not just the alcohol talking
how did that work out?
Well, all the water washed it off, so we ended up fucking since i didn't have my reminder...
Just gave a gay guy pointers on how to make anal not hurt. Reevaluation of life choices: in progress.
Your list of "good ideas" thumbtacked to the lampshade last night consisted of nothing but "tampon-pen" with a note indicating that girls could then always have something to write with, even naked.
And drunk me decided to play keep away with sober me's dignity
i ended up playing naked naked monopoly and hangman with my dealer. i really love my life.
Robert just walked in drunk, grabbed my Jameson from me, told me to let him do his thing, and spilled it all over the coffee table. Then he told me to grab a funnel because he was going home.
I thought you might think I was an idiot who thought cock rings prevent STDs,
now that we broke up we are playing hot potato with the cock ring.. Poor thing just needs a home
She's in it for that fear factor ya'll. Obsession and stalking or nothing.
He was gone for 5 minutes, opened the car door and said, "Don't eat my shit." and dropped Chipotle on the passenger seat. He was gone for another 10 minutes and came back with Coldstone. That stoned.
Painted a stripper an elf costume. Her coworkers liked it. Now in a room full of naked strippers.
Randomize
