Sitting in class thinking wow im glad im not hungover...and then i realized im still drunk.
dude. FULL moustache. it was like getting head from Tom Selleck
I'm sorry. Both for you two breaking up and because I just ate some of your cheez it's.
we ran out of cups so i finished the night drinking out of a paint can.
she looks like one of those semi-pretty girls that turns into a 9 while she's riding your cock like she's trying to catch a train on horseback.
I successfully convinced a drunk NDSU student that their school does not have a football team and another that they weren't in Fargo. I'm a dangerous sober shark in a sea of drunks.
We just weren't working out together, on a completely unrelated note some guy that i talked to on his grinder account said i could crash at his place
I envy your ninja level of don't give a fuck
There comes a point, as I lay on the floor of the work disabled toilets contemplating catching 10 minutes sleep between chunders, that I wonder if its really worth it
I convinced a German girl that I was born while my mom was water skiing and I preceded to barefoot ski behind her via the umbilical cord...
Side note: I just realized that I can make my hand warmers double as a heated push up bra.
I put miralax in my rum/coke. Go hard or go home.
I can't go to Fassler and not immediately think about you licking a guys wife's butthole in the family restroom
So were driving two hours to go to a club and Charles packed me a sippy cup full of tequila. He thinks of everything!
I have had flashes of 69ing, a strawberry flavored condom and begging him to sleep naked.
He wouldn’t know a good thing if it bit him on the ass. Which, btw, I did.
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