When you want to head down the cleveland on Sunday?
What time do the bars open? I dont want to remember how bad theyre gonna lose
Is it bad to use cherry nyquil as substitute for grenadine? Because i just went there.
Nah, totally cool. It already has the alcohol in it.
So I'm pretty sure I fucked the dept of homeland security guy on my kitchen table. No recollection of it, but there are signs.
we need 14,000 post its to execute this plan
Sometimes I wonder how different my life would be if I didn't share a weekly margarita with my mom since i was 12
You have to stop getting hammered and preaching about that mission trip to Haiti.
Whatever. I indirectly made you cum overseas. Call it even.
Im in Ft Meyers right now looking right at an alligator. I have had a couple of beers and people are telling me not to feed him but Im gonna do it anyway.
let's see, i ended up walking for an hour towards a macdonalds that didnt exist, sprinted full tilt into a powerline, and left a 30 dollar tip to a waitress at dennys we made friends with. I REGRET NOTHING
I ate her out for so long I might actually shit a vagina
I'm not about to serve this country to fuckin not have rum and cheezits for breakfast
I don't think people appreciate how hard it is to fuck in a portapotty. Sarah and I had train for that shit.
Ones vagina should not have the same slogan as a can of Pringles.
I havent moved from the couch and I'm licking peanut butter from a spoon, I'm a beautiful person.
And now Google thinks I have a hard hat fetish...maybe I do...
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