Things to remember: Girls don't appreciate it when you yell "Beast Mode!" when switching to doggy style.
Your vagain smells worse when im sober.
sorry, worng number
You were so trashed that when you dropped your fruit rollup on the floor, you just sat next to it and cried.
i'm at the st pattys day thing. the bar is packed. they just put on celine dion its all coming back to me now. i'm screaming the words.
it's 1 pm.
When you started Hi-fiving people I knew u were fucking gone. You slapped some dude on the shoulder when he wouldn't hi-five you and he asked if he even knew you
I was just counting ceiling tiles when he ate me out, it was that bad.
He just referred to his foreskin as a snuggie. Help.
Sorry I invoked the "everyones getting smacked including myself policy last night"
You just wrote a check for drugs...pretty sure you don't have cash for beer..
His balls are like really small, like dog sized balls. It was a weird discovery. Ever done a guy with dog sized balls?
He stumbled out of the bathroom with his pants around his ankles yelling "tie my shooes!"
I need to get some goddam control over my hormones
Nah leave him alone, he is at the strip club with his mom.
I’m glad they have a happy marriage but why do they have to inflict it on the rest of us?
well, i found him passed out on a picnic table two miles away with a lit cig in his hand...he had a rough night
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