i mean you're really good at taking the morning after pill...so you could put that on your resume..
yeah, i think fast in a bad sitatuion and am able to react with appropriate measures
There's a dead frog in my kitchen?
Yeah, you found him outside and decided to give him a bath with your roommates electric toothbrush.
The worst part is that you sang Air Supply songs to him as you did it. Poor guy died in the middle of "Making love out of nothing at all"
I'm so hungover even the car commercials make me nauseas
whos cum tastes better, a guy who drinks apple juice or cranberry juice?
almost just walked around my whole building with my bowl in my hand before i remembered 420 isnt a get out of jail free card
I can see why you broke up with her now... it was like having sex with a corpse.
Being thankful with your family is one thing. Being thankful with your friends while getting drunk and smoking bowls while eating leftovers, priceless.
Just did it in a room with glowing stars to Peter Gabriel's down to earth on shrooms. This is like god
The alcohol just runs so smoothly thru my veins.
Just read 119 best sex positions. I wanna try 107 of them. Can I put you down for 50?
I just want to be covered in whipped cream and spanked, is that too much to ask?
I just literally had a dance party in my closet. I've never been this blazed.
I have a tattoo that says Yolo. You should not have been asking my advice in the first place
Please come check out theses cougars grinding on a pole. I feel like they're showing us up and we need a duel stat
Love it. I wish you see me right now. I'm counting cash on my bed with no shirt on, beauty and the beast sound track on blast. Fucking creepin it up.
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