i'm 85% sure that if you don't visit me i will do something awkward and potentially dangerous to you in your sleep involving chocolate milk and a sham-wow.
I look better un-naked...
six shots in, he is hammered and doing stretches before each shot
how should i go about explaining the hickey i drunkenly gave myself last night?
well after we realized that his best friend and my twin sister were hooking up it was kind of an unsopken agreement that we would too
the general consensus of people in the room is that i should have another bottle of wine.
"people in the room" being me.
No, she isn't nearly as crazy as the girl who wanted to wear a vial of my semen as a necklace.
Water skiing blazed is the most scary thing I've ever done.
Any time you can't remember a night, and you wake up in a sorority house, it's fucking worth it.
I was just laughing and almost crying after I orgasmed, and then almost crying because I was laughing so hard. That's new.
Does he think you're psycho?
Officially...... yes.
Question. Was fucking Laura an entirely regrettable decision?
like...quickly.
I'm literally taking a shit naked holding a bottle of wine.
It's 5am and I have yet to fall asleep. At what point do we just accept that I run on vodka?
It's shark week go big or go home
He's gonna be like you slept with too many of my friends and you're being voted off the island haha
Randomize
