Too late. I'm going over there. I'm a bad example for all women: Do as I say, not who I do.
we hooked up on one of my student's desks last night...i can't decide if i'm ashamed or massively proud of myself
dude you teach first grade wtf
so i just calculated it and i would need to score 150% on this final to pass
Every day I regret the life decisions that led me to bank management and NOT being a coke addicted stripper. Every. Single. Day.
I wish there was a classy way to show off your boobs.
Any parent would be proud to have a daughter that's a blowjob fairy
he went down on me with a nose plug on, you tell me how it went
The only reason we got away with streaking last time was cuz we had those miner hats
ALERT: Turns out when I'm drunk I turn into a clepto. I just found keys, a ketchup bottle, and sweatshirt in my backpack that don't belong to me. If yours, come collect from me. I'm still drunk in the back of biology lecture.
Just so you know the unusual amount of skittles on your floor is entirely your own fault. You bought me 20 bags of them while I was high.
Of the past 48 hours, 46 of them have been spent naked. I'd say it's been a good two days.
I don't know if dry shampoo will fix the decisions we made last night.
I deserve to have sex with a hot freshman ok
Ladies don't puke and tell
Everyone needs to leave the house so I can use the good vibrator without being judged.
Randomize
