Well, I guess that settles the question of how thick the walls are in my building.
i made sure i dropped the whole "im a yoga teacher" bomb which basically roofies a guys sense of judgement and guarantees he will sleep with me.
Amazing. Super drunk. We stole a street sign in a golf cart and went around jousting trash cans all night.
He was dressed in a pink dressing gown feeding people ketamine from a plastic sword he called Excalibur. how was your Monday?
He slow fucked me. Doggy style. On a porch. You never slow fuck doggy style. Its a law. A LAW.
They said I was more of a mess than the German. I have achieved the unachievable, you may bow down to me
Just got a message on OkCupid from a 20-year-old who has "Momma's Boy" tattoed across his chest and thinks the earth is bigger than the sun.
I will kill you in such a brutal way if you ever de-pants me again on the dance floor it will make the stock market ticker
Suspicion confirmed. my mom has her nipples pierced
Way to crack the case Nancy Drew
I'm asking you this because you're my dad....is coke a drug I should try?
One of my nipples looks nothing like the other...i don't know how this happened
Did you happen to find the other half of my bra last night?
He made me ask permission to to cum and it made me cum.
I shouldn't be allowed to be in america for NYE... or any major holiday for that matter
Gov of Georgia is going to allow massage therapists to return to work.
Gives a new meaning to 'Happy Endings'.
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