I got fucking wesley sniped last night by that power hoe. How'd it end up on your end? Did you canoodle the stripper enough for her to agree to go to formal?
when a 14 year old is judging you, you know you've had too much to drink
Nick just found a baggie of 3 year old shrooms in his desk drawer and downed it all with cheap white wine. I am not on vomit duty tonight.
I had to call maintenance to come unclog the toilet.
Something to remember me by.
no, i'm currently making the trek across campus to get all my stuff from last night. My ID is in one guys bed, and my camera in another guy's bed.
At what point should i just give my brother a break and stop sleeping with his friends?
Ok, let's play "if you were a slut" again and try and retrace our steps last night..
I think he's in need of mouth to penis resuscitation. Which I happen to be certified
And I just realized we will be at a strip club when the end of the world is supposed to happen. This is destiny
He convinced the breakfast vendor to melt twix bars on bacon for me at 4am. He slurred every word. I think I found my prince charming.
All I remember is sitting on your kitchen floor and playing with a banana like it was a viking ship.
I fear our relationship is coming to an end. Last night I felt the need to bloody apologise for waking him up with a blow job.
i just woke up on the desk in his dorm with him snoring in my vagina. better than last week waking up to a different guy puking on my bare ass i guess.
Topless, eating sour gummies, doing a crossword, at 4 AM. TELL ME IM BEAUTIFUL!
There’s a child, alone, sitting on a picnic table out there, making bird noises
Randomize
