dude..why do i always have to pick up the kitty litter after you drink?
She seriously needs to find another hobby other than bouncing on cock.
Question: Is it too early to claim April Fools on the text "can we do some lines before the concert" that I accidentally sent Mom?
Also, our mothers are placing bets on which of us will get pregnant first.
Idk what else to talk about besides you paying for half of my vaginaplasty.
She told me she's going to buy a projector so she can watch porn on her ceiling...I'm telling you man this chick is going places
He's cute when he's drunk, too. Also he tried to fight my door...
We're all getting matching jack daniels tattoos. We're gonna be an alcoholic gang of awesome.
Things I want for my birthday 1. a Chipotle grade tortilla steamer 2. a new liver
It's not ok to announce to a group of people playing beer pong that a girl put her finger in your butt last night. I now know this
We need a fire pit. Meat. And a keg.I mean like a cow we just carve from. And cook it. We can use the milk from the udder to make White Russians
My vagina is no longer accepting new clients.
You have the most beautiful penis I've ever seen. I never thought penises were meant to be beautiful, but you proved me wrong
I haven't answered because I haven't figured out a polite way of saying fuck no
He broke both of his legs jumping out of a window to escape a coyote.
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