I can hear the grilled cheese talking to me. "Let me in there!" they wanna get inside me
yeah she is the one who tells people i beat girls.. which ironically make me want to punch her in the face
Guys who wear capris make me want to kill endangered species.
She showed me her prom dress from 2001, which still had her date's cum stain on it.
Oh, so that's why you call her jizzarella....
The bar I'm at just passed out smores to everyone. I don't know what it has to do with cinco de mayo but I'm down.
I have no idea how to attract men with my personality anymore. He can't see my tits via facebook chat
i drunkenly decided i was going to take down all the male cheerleaders, gay or not. 1 down about 10 more to go.
My dick was out way too much saturday not to get laid
I officially lit my glove on fire while lighting the bong. Winter needs to end.
This is the last weekend of getting drunk and having sex all nite with the plumber. I'm exhausted all weekend and I'm never going to finish the remodel at this rate
Oh god I think I promised some guy from high school that I'd be his fuck buddy in like 3 months
Were at her birthday dinner and her dad keeps buying me shots saying when I was your age I fucked the shit outta girls
Hahahahahaha remind him your dating his daughter
We fucked on shrooms. It's like his dick was a beam of light and when I came I turned into a prism and my orgasms were made of rainbows.
Why is there a trampoline for sale in my front yard?
No I'm not lying to you. I'm just not telling you the whole story. There's a massive difference.
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