I dont get it-she has sex with me but wont be my facebook friend?
yeah it was kind of like, i'm 27 and still live in a frat house.. you honestly expect me to have "moral fiber" and a "conscience"
Update from family reunion: my aunt Janet once got her legs stuck behind her head. The fire department had to be called.
We played "race the Jimmy John's driver". Order, then see if we can finish sex before the food arrives.
Why is the word 'best' written on my chest?!!
Something strange is happening to me, I think I miss hooking up with girls sober
You are the worst substitute drug dealer ever
why is it ever time u get laid i end up having to clean something twice? you have no idea how hard it is to wash smugged ass cheeks off the counter
there not mine if that helps
The date officially concluded on the phrase "Nosh dat vag".
I honestly feel really bad for any girl with a period that lasts more than a day
Everything about that text makes me want to throttle you and cry
Best part about losing weight and not fitting into your pants any longer? They come off quick for chipotle emergencies.
He obv doesn't know that telling a woman to chill will get him murdered
My bookbag can hold 30+ beers. They shoulda put that on the tag bc its a big selling point
So...#1 on my TO DO list for college is to fuck someone somewhere in the stadium during the homecoming game...you down?
I'm wearing men's underwear
I don't know what to do with that information...
Randomize
