Nob stitches i do do not bleed anymorr!
Its where this guy sticks a jar up his ass. Be prepared to be suspended between vomiting and cheering.
Drank beer out of a hotwheels bucket all night
i upgraded from drunk texts to drunk e-mails...real world here i come
i was concerned by what you said you would do for a snickers. It wasn't even a Klondike bar.
We have a drunk bartender with her nips a quarter inch from bein out buying us shots. GET HERE.
You just said the magic words
Found myself carrying 2 bottles of .89 euro wine about half a mile to where im staying. and someone stopped me and spoke to english. apparently, i reek of drunk american.
No, this is a senior booty call. It cannot be ignored.
Thanks for letting me rent out your vagina rec room. I don't expect the security deposit back.
steve's beating me 4-2 in our "sexually confusing straight people" competition. steve is a wizard. this is not a drill.
Obviously last night's theme was "Let's Make Bad Life Choices"
You peed all over his floor and had a bottle popped in your ass when you passed out. Don't tell me I'm "still living in my college days"
I'll do whatever I want when I'm 80.
If you are still alive at 80 I demand a medical explanation.
He pulled out the guitar, sat in tub, and took requests while she puked her brains out in the toilet. I think he loves her.
Those brownies did us in. I honestly blacked out completely.
What brownies? Ohmygod.
Randomize
