you ran down to the water at 3am and rolled in the sand and ran around screaming that you were the corn dog monster.
He just said "fuck you" to the bowl he's eating things out of
Well apparently I'm no fun since I won't have a threesome with him and my mother.
you took the tequila shot and then procceded to eat the lime..we told you to spit it out but you just straight face kept chomping
All I've succeeded in doing since I saw you is drool on my shoulder
Lets think Pancakes and sausages into existence
grandma made pot brownies .. oh god bless us everyone
I was so high I didn't realize I'd put on someone else's bra. I thought my boobs had shrunk.
The only rule I'm making for myself tonight is to not drink out of the sink at the bar.
His whole street is under construction. Third walk of shame this week & I'm getting a lot of sympathetic nods from the workers.
Apparently, Lolla sends you an email every time you use your wristband to buy a beer.
21 new emails...yikes
I'm currently trying to figure out a way to fill the bathtub up with mashed potatoes so when he comes over he'll know what's about to hit him..
can you please not set my house on fire for once???
I fucking hate humanity. I met a twenty three year old adult with an aol email account today. I'm not sure how those things are related, but I'm sure they are.
Just made my first drink, took 2 sips feel like god
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