i have a strong urge to join the asians in the park doing tai chi. I think im still high .
38 yer olds are good kisserssss
respond to me or i'm telling everyone that you inserted a vodka soaked tampon into your anus
you didnt have any toilet paper so I just took a shower
That sound you heard was the sound of millions of brackets exploding simultaneously
whats the proper etiquette for returning a closet door to a random girl you met and do not know her name?
The little things make me happy. Little dicks do not.
I hope your sleeping good cuz when u wake up im punching you square in the face
I've somehow found myself in an emotionally abusive relationship with a married man who gives me drugs.
My life is quickly turning into a Lifetime movie.
I may not be his cup of tea, but I bet I'm his 10th shot of tequila
WHY IS THERE NO EMOJI FOR "FUCK MY MOM JUST SAW MY SEX BRUISES?!"
We have had more Sex in the past 48 hours then we have in the past 3 months. I think it was from me dressing up as Darth Vader.
How do you ask the man who gives you multiple orgasms if he has friends who could do the same for your friend?
are you really asking me this. do you KNOW how many times i masturbate in a day? yeah. wrong person to ask about romance.
You kept singing "your gonna lose that girl" to him right in front of her.. of course you got punched in the face.
Randomize