Im listening to a jazz version of dick in a box.
By the way the awkward moment from yesterday is now a bad situation I have to figure out.
Thank you Grey Goose.
I don't get why Lindsay Lohan doesn't just blame her bad behavior on her twin sister from the Parent Trap. I mean nobodys seen her since.
I've thrown up so many times in the third floor bathroom of Baldwin that they should probably just go ahead and name it after me.
He spent most of his night trying to convince people that he had changed and was no longer a sleazebag...he had his nut hanging out of his pants about an hour later.
Im about to have a threesome, Ill pay you twenty bucks to go clean my room. Just throw it all in the closet.
we found a loaf of bread in my bathroom i believe its yours. sorry i took a shower before we noticed so it might be soggy
I'm taking it from the chunk of pizza I just pulled out my hair that we ate pizza last night?
He was visibly upset that you'd rather eat nachos than have sex with him.
Not sure if this is better or worse than the discovery that bourbon and hot chocolate is a viable combo
it's ok, no one ever died fom being sticky.
i've gotta research that and get back to you.
I have 3 bottles of vodka in my room telling me not to go to work tomorrow.
There's a guy in a plaid shirt running around asking everyone if they want to head butt him
I got paid to fuck my boss for lunch. My job is better than yours.
imagine the bill from school house rock beating the shit outta you
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