Hope the move went well! I'll miss you!
you are a cunt and I hated living with you and your skeezy boyfriend.Just thought I'd get that out there.
I'm pouring my heart out in these texts and you're going around showing everyone???
I woke up at 11 this morning in my car parked in front of the bar.
I know, I tried to wake you up, but I couldnt. So I walked home
then she woke up from sleeping for an hour and the first thing she said was "i regret it already"
I sold 10 pepperonis for 5 dollars last night....i fucking love drunk people
Dude she's famous. She's on an episode of campus pd. Can't not fuck her
He unbuckled his belt, tipped his hat at me, then told me to "saddle up"
this is like your 5th cowboy right? where do you keep finding these guys?!!
I was so stoned last night I got into an argument with your voicemail message.
But seriously I don't know. I haven't seen her since I gave her back her 3 blind mice stick, and she just started hitting everybody with it.
It's not safe here. I had urgent and violent diarrhea last night, and I got blackout drunk. Please don't come over.
i knew my hormones were back to normal when i went to ikea and didn't want to fuck any of the workers
Just put on slippers before underwear so you know where my priorities are
He fucked me while wearing a unicorn horn. I think I have found the one...
if it makes u feel better, i skipped class so i could go to a sex convention in jersey a few hours earlier than if i went to class.
i ate pretzels. i might be the first human to be hospitalized from pretzels. that's how bad this is.
Randomize
