i woke up in his bed, he had my shirt on
and high school musical 3 was playing on his lap top
I guess you can say it's a tradition... whoever brings home the ugliest guy has to do all the cleaning the next day
Apparently senior citizens don't like that position
Gay TA. Finally going to boost my GPA your way.
welp wont be popping out a kid with a beret. frenchie is gone and the mother nature showed herself. bilingual kid can be erased from the bucket list
I'm alone drinking at the bar and the titanic theme song is on. This won't end well.
There's puke on my pillow. I'm still wearing my wedges. And I have a cab drivers number clutched in my fist.
My ex just sent me a message asking if she could blow me, but only if we get caught by her new bf. If she promises to swallow I'm doing it.
Hey man, I found your crocs and your visor in the road. Got em for you.
But he's not just anonymous male genitalia anymore. I've met him, I've seen his face.
I just swallowed some ecstasy stuck in my nose from last night. Work should be interesting.
I cried at the bar for 30 minutes because I got my arm stuck in my sweater. I got free drinks for the rest of the night after the bartender helped me.
I just swallowed confetti and motor-boated some guys beard...#happy2015
We're meant to be. Apparently God wants me to get dicked down pretty good too so I'm not complaining about destiny
Who the fuck is "nick from the beach last year"
No idea hahaha...why?
He just texted me.. Should I ask where I met him?
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