Bitch is talking to much, howd u ever get her 2 shut up?
It's worth it.
How worth it?
Back door worth it
I need to shower the guilt off of my thighs.
I'm not to broken up about it. Our relationship was worse than a coldplay song.
Just found a glow stick inside of my vagina..
With the amount of traffic your vagina gets, it was only a matter of time before someone threw a rave there.
im learning from these one night stands last time i came in her this time i came on her AND deleted every contact in her phone!
Minivans at bars can only lead to bad things.
Ive been sitting around naked watching magic on youtube.
i'm ready for this baby to gtfo so i can get coked out.
Also, fighting a very strong urge to nickname your dick Whitey Bulger, at least for today.
I'm unsure as to how you were able to snapchat me with your hands duck taped to beer, but I appreciated it nonetheless.
Drunk me made out with someone's girlfriend last night, was invited to their place for a semi-threesome, and then walked home at three am. Can't decide if this is better or worse than drunkenly challenging everyone to taekwondo sparring matches...
And now you understand the importance of Saturday naps.
Because you stay up all night having sex and eating sushi?
I've peed outside too many times in just this past week
I finally figured out how to tighten my bra straps and I feel like a god
No I don't. You owe me sex and cinnamon rolls.
Randomize
