I've decided that I only have enough money to either eat or drink over the next month. I'm sure you know what choice I've made.
I managed to throw up 90 feet under water, just removed my breathing tube, puked, put it back in. All inclusive is the way to go.
Ohmy god im about to fuxk my TA. i thyought this was a dream but i love you. <3
Hey, I can't find my bed frame. Do you know who took it?
The only thing that made me get out of bed this morning was knowing that tonight, I don't plan on remembering what happened today
I blacked out after you got about 8 goldfish out of the tank and put them in your pockets. We're not allowed back. It was a sucky Walmart anyway...
She said we couldnt stop drinking until there were enough bottles to make a fort. so we could have sex in our "bottle castle"
It is very possible that having sex with you just now just got me into Yale
I just want to eat and sleep til I'm dead. I should've been born a cat.
First sunburned tits of the season. And it's only April... I feel like it's going to be a good summer.
i told him I'd let him eat part of a weed cookie out of my cleavage, so he pulled over like a gentleman.
We have a lot of substance abuse to do tomorrow its sleep time
Watching a bear prancing around in a tiara is worth a loss of bar time.
My concern for you and peanut butter is the reason I am still awake.
Does anyone remember last night? Because I still don't know why I now own a goldfish and a ceiling fan made of pizza?
Randomize
