i nerd-gasmd. plain and simple.
I don't have a choice really. It's either lose 15 lbs by Halloween, or I'm going as a giant banana.
Good lord, they've set up every firework to be ignited by a trail of gasoline at midnight. God save us all.
"lets watch the sunrise" turned into "lets have sex on the roof at six thirty in the morning"
Remember when you picked me up from my walk of shame with a bike, I came out wearing a Ninja Turtle costume and you let me ride the pegs to thoroughly display the embarassment
I totally left my shirt at your house. Also I think I high fived your cactus last night
There will always be a place in my black heart for him because he gave me my first sex-induced orgasm. While you slept on the bunk above.
If I could sit on this toilet forever I would totally do that right now
Yeah! Don't let me leave the house without marijuana and a juicer.
Plus my fingers were hella swollen from eating all these cured meats so it was like I was given it to her with Hulk Hands on
Sorry I pissed in your closet and lied to your parents that it was probably a flood. He got up to go to the bathroom, expecting sex when he got back, I panicked
Stop it. You know what r&b does to my body
Pretty sure I got pink eye from the strip club. There is also still beer cans rattling around in my shower.
She is getting high and watching the Hobbit. I want her life.
So she is basically watching her own life story: short people traveling to strange places.
What did you give up for lent?
Diet and excersize. And I'm never going back...
Randomize
