Whose surfboard did we steal and why is there a wood carving of a pelican in the fridge where the beer used to be?
Avril Lavigne as a judge on Idol wearing devil ears. it's like every boner you ever had in 2002 just came true.
I was arrested last night for attempting to flee and elude. I wasn't really trying to run from the police. I was drunk and lost in the woods. I thought it was pretty obvious when I was waving at them from my puddle of puke that I wasn't really hiding.
Places you have drunkenly threatened to piss: my bed, my bros bed, my moms bed, my bros wedding
im kinda looking forward to winter break. ive been away from home for so long i think i can trick my vagina into thinking that these arent the same people ive been hooking up with since high school...
she gave me one of those friendship bracelets and said as long as I wore it it was like an all-access pass to her vagina
I went commando last night, then accidentally flashed a police van...They acknowledged it.
I keep telling myself that if Britney can make it through 2007, I can make it through this date.
Of all the things that can be stripped of me i'll be damned if it's my vanity
She said, after pronouncing how sober she was, and I quote 'Take this bag, it's so heavy it's like 500 degrees! Wait, is it time to go? Can I run? I think I can run!' Then she ran away.
Saw my drug dealer at Easter mass with his family so that was weird
Whose panties are you wearing on your head and why are you sending me pics of it?
I just want you to know you're the worst sister ever.
If this is about me and your ex, it's not my fault she doesn't like men.
If by fun you mean, did I meet her cousin for the.first time and bang him, then yes it was a productive evening.
He pulled out a Plan B pill and handed it to me as I left like it was a party favor. God Bless America.
Randomize
