Do you know how easy it would be to shoplift if I was a magician?!
Sorry I couldn't get my dick out
Oh please. You given/recieved a handjob out in public. I think that shy ship has sailed.
Just took a final in the room where I lost my virginity. I think it was god luck.
Having a pigeon watch you poop is just creepy. Drunk or not.
If it makes you feel any better, karma just served me up a big dose of fuck you.
other than the jail part I had a really good time with you
You challenged yourself to walk backwards all the way to the bar... And you did
Passing out is my livers way of protecting my mind.
soon, soon....
I don't believe you anymore. You're like the boy who cried coitus.....
I just heard myself say the sentence "I'm gonna go to the bank then take a nap". 8 year old me just slapped my present self through the space-time continuum for being an old fuck.
Nice. The Governor's son bruised my vagina.
That's going to be the title of my memoir.
Are you going to regret this?
No I do t think so
Ok then he can enter the holy dorm temple.
You took your pants and underwear off as soon as we got to Melissa's and just walked around the entire time like it was completely normal. We even ate pizza together with your vagina exposed. You're my hero.
Just saw you run by my class yelling "fuck you!". Good luck and stay human!
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