I like how she turned her beer into a wet t-shirt contest
I wish orgasms lasted as long as the pain from rug burn
I think this baby is eyeing my beer
i would bitch about being this hungover, but honestly im just happy to be alive after this weekend
I just did a sobriety test in a tutu.
I'm so bored right now i'm literally Googleing all the possible ways to get high with household items as my mom is sitting in front of me..
You may genuinely find a use for the siphon. But the bag of human hair is less likely.
I think i just threw up blood. i can't chill right now;
My Saturday dick is so much more impressive than my Tuesday dick.
Might as well permanently tattoo lush somewhere on my body and show it to people when I decide to drink so they won't serve me.
You have mono. It's like being pregnant, your are excused from normal social niceties like responding to people.
I can't believe just smoked out of a pear
I can't believe you had a pear already made to smoke out of, that was impressive
The fact that I made out with a twenty one year old father is kind of worrying me now. Like. This is exactly what I wasn't supposed to do in life.
I hear my roommate snoring and I feel bad for his girlfriend but then I hear them having sex and I guess it all works out in the end.
It was like a single vaginal boat in a sea of one eyed monsters
Randomize
