Sometimes he's such a bitch I forget that he's not actually a girl. Last night I asked him if I could borrow a tampon.
He had some in his pocket. That was weird.
They're having chugging contests. With juice. Please get me out of Utah.
Well besides you comparing him to your dead cat, I'd say it was fine.
in literally every picture i'm wearing less and less of my costume.
Just peed on my foot. Thank you Sunday hangovers.
I rode a bull tonight, There is absolutely no reason my dick is not in some chicks mouth
Where the hell did all of these gingers come from? It's like they crawled out of their shame-caves for st Patrick's day.
I say we start a new tradition. I came up with it all by myself. It's called work out, lay out, black out
SOMEONE WITH THE TWITTER HANDLE "METHLAB" FAVORITED THAT PICTURE
I just got fingered in the Win-Co parking lot for pills. How's your meltdown going?
Can you get snapchat back so I can show you all the places I threw up in/on last night?
Santa tracker drinking game, you in or what?
i can eat my weight in tater tots. don't test me, bitch
I wasn't going to drink tonight, but was reminded this is the anniversary of prohibition being repealed. If I don't, then I am against my profession of bartending and anti-American, right?
we thought it would be safer to lock you in the car alone downtown than take you back home to pass out
Randomize
