Some girl just asked us for directions back to campus. we told her to take the first four lefts. We live on a block. she believed us
wait can you just look around please? that was my favorite bra and i've already asked like 3 other guys
Did we have sex last night or did we just wake up naked covered in oil?
I need to get the stench of sex and broken dreams out of my room
tuesday night obama will do an address about the oil spill at 8... it'll only be about 15 minutes... but i think thats plenty of time for a drinking game. key words "oil" "bp" and "responsibility"?
Fuck yes. Let's make bingo cards.
He was singing "i gotta feeling" under his breath as i was pulling my top off.
This escort grabbed my boyfriends ass and it became clear, he fucked pretty much anything he could find prior to dating me.
Just realized I lost my social security card...maybe someone else will do something with my life
found out that hot proper business chick in my class A) did a bar crawl last 2 night and still showed up to class and B) is 19 and C) so not as proper as I thought D) is single. How the fuck does that work? Freaking superwoman.
i introduced myself to everyone by my new name, thundergooch. i threatened the neighbors with a hammer when they used my real name. needless to say, sailor jerry was not kind to me.
Any formal decision about whether we're planning to objectify naked women with daddy issues tonight?
In my defense, who let the drunk girl run around with a sack of broken glass unsupervise?
I'm getting high with a 50 year old car wash guy. Enough said.
First encounter with a mirco peen. I was confused when he said he doesnt go down on girls. Cmon dude, practice on a peach.
I keep having dreams where I tie him up and eat cookies off of him while riding him. Wtf brain.
Randomize
