wow, farting in latex pants is really awkward.
just saw ex-bf. should he be more embarrassed to be a college dropout working at rite aid or should i be because i was buying newports and rembrant?
tie
She saved the condom from the first time we did it.
The state of Wisconsin is just irresponsible for letting me buy this many fireworks
My vagina senses are tingling. I know your here.
Ohhhh sweet! I may be down for that. I'll be a german beer girl probably passed out on a park bench somewhere.
I just want to know what horrible accidents of evolution allowed that tiny penis to exist
She asked if I could convince him so shave that shit off his face so he'll have a snowball's chance in hell of getting laid.
Apparently he's into classy girls that wear sweaters and don't throw up on him when they go out.
And then he posed under the bed and said, "you should draw me like one of your french girls." Why do they keep giving this kid drugs?
Dude it's huge. I don't usually like looking at those things, but you're kind of forced to stare that horse in the face.
I just gave him road head. He came in the Taco Bell drive thru which seems pretty typical for my life.
I completely forgot I gave up beer. But airports don't count. They're like international waters. No rules.
Good morning 7am walk of shame. It's been awhile.
I wish i didn't black out tuesday so i could have cherished our moment together
Throwing up together is NOT a cherishable moment...
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