about to try to wax my asshole... wish me luck
Houston, we have a problem
where are u?
Houston. That's the problem. I don't know how I got here.
Chinese roommate asked me this a.m when u left if all girls here have multiple boyfriends..
I had sex on an exercise ball. The inevitable has occurred.
I need to stop having one night stands with guys in my building so I can have someone to borrow milk from without it being awkward
four loko is officially banned. leave it to the kids from a state school to fuck it up for everyone
I usually would've stopped there but I kinda remember opening the bottle of vodka, and we ALL know that's when things go downhill.
at 6am he came into my room and kicked me in the stomach. when i finally got up he was passed out in my hallway and the bathtub water was running
Just realized ive been sitting through all of lab with a condom in my bra.
yay hump day
So ahh..."Multicultural Night" turned into "Fuck the Neighbor Night"
I am just going to stick my boobs out and hope for the best
i almost threw up on his dick. its like icarus, flew too close to the sun. except the sun is his dick and my throat was icarus
I remember eating bacon bits off your chest that night... I'll never look at bacon pizza the same way
She kept telling me that it pissed her off that i expect people to make out with me...then she made out with me. Win?
So I tried to catch a rabbit in Terraria & accidentally blew it up with a grenade made of bees. Monty Python would be proud.
Randomize
