You want to go to a white party at LAX
Clubs are lame especially themed ones. Im not in a fucking episode of laguna beach
if all i could do was poop and smoke weed, i'd be eternally happy
amen to that sister
I just heard a woman call her child a butt face. Repeatedly. He's crying now. I love walmart.
adderall just fell out of my nose in class. guy next to me just nodded.
Also, just grabbed a bunch of "tuxedo black" condoms. formal, anyone?
We lost the cork forthe wine, so we used a tampon as a replacement. I never loves tampons so much
I woke up to him eating cereal out of my viking helmet with a shot glass. No idea where he got the milk.
I told her that if she blew me I would give her the empty pizza box in the fridge.... Why did she agree?
So there I was praying he didn't go limp again, choking on a long, long gray ball hair. This is my Saturday night. This. Is. My. Life.
And tell the hostess not to worry, she's narcoleptic and fell asleep on the way to the bar, but she'll be fine in a few minutes.
Dude, I'm pretty sure I slept with my TA's girlfriend
So I definitely fucked a guy while holding on to his pigtails like reigns last night.
The most literal cowgirl position ever.
Yeah i like want to be friends with him. And if we have sex in the physics library well thats fine with me
My boobs keep hanging out of this shirt. I think thats the style I'm going for tonight
I woke up with my shoes on but pants in the fish tank
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