I wish I was a guy so I could jack myself off anytime I wanted to
Hey when you come over to pick me up in the mornin bring a camera. This is going to be legendary. Don't knock.... They might cover up
also. he gave me a foot massage during 69ing when i got a cramp. he's a winner.
I apparently texted him "since you're taking time out to think about us. You probably need to think about me getting arrested right now."
at the hospital. he locked himself in the kitchen, said he was making beer batter shrimp. don't know if it's the mercury poisoning, alcohol poisoning or second degree burns they're holding him for, but i've got a pretty guess.
She said, "I don't really go out much, but my husband recently cheated on me" and I don't remember anything after that.
Kayla got stiches in her face. Rode in an ambulance shotgun. Tried to steal a baby, thought it was mine
just had to make the 420 edibles gluten free and kosher for passover.
i probably shouldve stopped when i uncurled the curly straw in my cocktail because it was slowing me down
Not much, just your average college male Sunday cleaning period blood out of the carpet.
Tell me you're kidding.
Besides scarred, I'm not much of anything right now.
Reading an example in the GRE study book referencing Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles while wearing TMNT pajamas. *airfist*
omg please tell me you're eating pizza right now too.
I was cracking open beer cans, throwing them off the roof, and yelling "FRAG OUT!"
Would jacking off with Benadryl cream be good or bad for the poison oak on my dick?
is it acceptable to cross the border for sex?
That makes sense.. A good Bj is a trump card in any argument
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