Well the bottom line is that I had to completely coat my testicles in Neosporin.
Don't tits with veins remind you of road maps?
Joey just asked me if I ever got anything stuck in my vag.
was it embarrassing when you had to say yes?
dude,it's memorial day.not getting wasted=you're a terrorist
Responsibility does not care about your dick.
We can grow old together and our livers can fail together
The instructions say refer to specific course material, but I'm in no mood to reopen this awful book that caused me so many lost hours of drinking.
Yeah FUCK THAT NOISE
weekly advice from mom, "Drink vodka, it las hess calories"
If a cougar buys you pizza and wants to show you her newly-won house, you have sex with her. It's the law. Just being all the man I can be dude
WTF? Why is there a pic of my tits in ur dad's office?
If I'm not drunk and wearing a penguin hat by the time we are done opening Christmas presents then coming home for Christmas was a complete failure
Fuck you and fuck your stupid hat
When your job has killed your spirit to the point that you don't want to flirt with the cute, tall guy at Enterprise
GIRL PLEASE. GO BACK AND POP THE TITTY OUT
yea so the plan to relive our college glory days was great and all but ending up in the er with alcohol poisoning was crossing the line
My professor just said irregardless, get me out of here
I guess he's ir-illiterate
Randomize