then he goes, "ok, i have to go talk to the girl i'm semi-talking to/dating and see if i'm in trouble" WHAT IS MY LIFE?!
Having him eat chocolate out of you is not as romantic as it sounds. I'm still finding pieces.
Just TALKING to him is better than banging my bf, imagine what actual banging will be like.
CANT TOUCH THIS JUST CAME ON MY IPOD. LOVE STEVE JOBS
I'm wearing cowboy boots and showing way too much cleavage to be in a place with no jaeger.
Please find an outlet that isn't stripping or getting drunk and arrested
Well, I plan on starting the night dressed as little red riding hood. Then I plan on finishing the night dressed as a shit show in a red cape.
he's home with a concussion now...but apparently i'm still the highlight of his freshman year
I just found out my college boyfriend's nickname is actually a Dutch word for little cucumber.....it all makes sense now.
Saw a dude last night at a strip club's bar eating canned pineapple and giving tootsie pops to the girls...
The last thing I searched on my phone was "leave in conditioner on cats." This is where my life is.
Walking down the street, Bro bumping to 'still' by dre. Dropped his trash on the ground and aggressively sped up when his light turned green. If you still had love for the streets you wouldn't of fucking littered. Took everything for me not to yell at him. I know you would've.
Is it possible to be sexually attracted to someone's hair?
Are there edibles for sale in the Denver airport because if so bring those to my mouth
that's what I'm here for. I'm literally just bad advice mixed with motivational sentences.
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