god I hate her. why can't she just fuck and leave like a normal slut.
he suggested we appoligize to eachother. then do blow and painkillers & have ourselves a make-up party.
part of it is the fact that im problem drinking, and the other part is my OCD wont let me leave the bottle half-empty.
Every time I hit my bowl my neighbors set off fireworks... I stop, they stop. I start again, they start again. Too high for this.
I'm way to drunk for this play. I'm about to run up on stage and drop the main character
He apologized for his naked psychotic episode and then we had goodbye sex on his sailboat
It went alright, nothing too special, just got threatened with a knife by our server.
ITS A JAGER BOTTLE. NOTHING CAN BE BAD IF ITS JAGER RELATED.
So to distract myself from jackies vomiting, im making up a story in my head. It's called the little penis that could
We spilled a whole bottle of mouth wash and then proceeded to roll around and make out in it. At least I smell minty fresh.
apparently i tried to facetime the drunk bus last night, that's probably why we had to walk back to campus
Drunk ass.
Sometimes a girl needs 4 shots of whiskey in her diet coke at 5 in the afternoon and i feel no shame in admitting that girl is me
Idk I'm drinking Sam Adams and wearing new balances so I'm basically a dad
They're the one who can profit the most when given the opportunity for blackmail.
At least that's how I've always seen it whenever I've been the Designated Driver.
That simultaneously explains everything and makes me very very terrified of you.
summer in europe = liver of steel
I accept that challenge.
Randomize