I think id rather eat ped egg shavings.
and thats how i got kicked in the balls by micky mouse
he said i was chugging vodka in the parking lot, gave my # to a married man, started a food fight, and passed out at the bar. how could he NOT consider that a good first date???
Just discovered Kim Possible porn. Life is now complete.
So my prents justed posted "DO NOT DISTURB" on facebook and i just heard their door shut and lock...I'm leaving
Well he paid for dinner, so I paid for the Plan B, but the parking ticket I got is totally his responsibility.
If she wasn't my friend I'd think she was a huge slut
bro i finally banged her last night on our basement couch
I'm at this frat party right now and yelled "my little 16 year old brother finally lost his virginity." They gave you a standing ovation
Just had an old man tip me two dollars and say "here put this in your baby fund, you'll have a baby someday" I swear this is gods way of saying GET ON BIRTH CONTROL NOW!
Just bought a dildo. Happy first time single in four years Valentine's Day to me
She gave me a roadie as we drove home from fireworks. People were still lighting off their displays as we drove by. I love America.
Why is there never any toilet paper at his apartment? What does he wipe his ass with? WHAT DOES HE WIPE IT WITH?!?
For a guy who won't fuck me, your dick is out a lot when we talk.
only i would get off to receiving death threats online
Either it didn’t do much damage or I’ve lost all feeling in my asshole
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