it was worse than that time i tried giving evan head 4 days post nose job.
So thats when I found out ur supposed to put the penut butter on your balls not your dogs balls, feels alot better
Nothing says Christmas like gin and tears.
My 10 year old son gave me a bottle of jameson for fathers day. Did you have something to do with this?
I couldnt bring myself to steal alcohol from my dead grandma
This morning is cloudy with a high chance of vomiting all over the dentist. Stay tuned for further updates.
The doctor asked me what height I fell from to hurt my back.. I answered keg height
It made me think of you cause he just screamed "CAPTAIN PLANET" a lot and kicked people in the balls.
I'm about to take my 7th shot and I have to to go to dinner with my grandma in an half hour. What is my life.
I would totes reciprocate the nip pic, but I'm sick with a piece of tissue shoved up one of my nostrils and I'm just not feeling that ambitious. Sorry.
You know you're high when, "Why can't I steal the duck?!" Becomes a serious question.
THE STRIPPER HAD A GUN JOHN!
Would I do it again? Probably not but still,I don't regret a single ratchet thing I've done in college.
He had been licking my nipple for like 5 minutes and it wouldn't get hard. He asked me to lick my own and when I did, instant hardness. I realized I'd rather have sex with myself then this guy ..
Decided to stay sober a couple days, learned how exceptionally stupid my coworkers are. Might have to quit now. Moral of the story:be careful where you go sober.
Randomize
