i feel rough
just turned on the light, there is blood EVERYWHERE.
I just googled "buy xanax online". What is wrong with my life?
what did you hear about me?
that you are a very nice girl and a pleasure to be around
that was hard to say and not laugh
Wouldn't be the first time..I think there's a subliminal message constantly playing in my mind that says 'blackout', 'throwing up is fun' 'too sober'
the lighter is IN the bong. I don't know what to do
what is it with giant penises always finding me
I thought it was a drawer and tried to pull it out and it wasnt a drawer it was the police call button. I hate everything.
Can't. Busy recovering from the worst pulled muscle of my life that I got either from excessively acrobatic boning or carrying a huge fucking ice luge down the street while wearing 4 inch heels
I just found a reminder in my phone to ask you about your sex life in 7 years. So how is that going?
Ohhh the usual. Laying in bed reflecting on my decisions
Is it bad when your own grandmother calls you a whore?
My pizza delivery guy was so hot I was like omg please let this be the beginning of a porno
I'm still trying to figure out who shit on the coffee table. I have confirmed beyond a reasonable doubt that it wasn't me.
We havent had power for three days. What else is there to do besides drink and fuck? I thought that was obvious.
can jess come too?
sure! but I don't have enough booze for the both of you.
she comes with her own booze, no worries.
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