with your own penis?
Just checked, might have creepy crawlies. What does chlamydia feel like? Not near wireless to consult webMD.
it was great that she threw up because that made me the only one trying to hook up with her
after last night i think it would be a good idea if i wrote a will... you know, just in case.
Just a heads up: The party is Fourth of July themed. Spread the word
dude its may
Work with me here, man.
gross. I think i'll just donate all my eggs. My children will be incredible, but they're not welcome in my womb
Hypothetically, how much legal trouble do you think i will be in for stealing someone's dog?
i knew you were okay when you wanted to eat in the ambulance
He just got dropped off drinking a flask, sitting on the handlebars of a chinese delivery man's bike
Tonight's gonna be epic. Did he bring my noodles?
Seriously, I am going to crawl in a hole, sew my vagina shut, and spit acid on any man that comes near me.
Just did a "spirit of homecoming" bump off a stranger's credit card. A stranger that dropped us off at home. Erica's bad. How do allllll of the Eastern Europeans know how to find drugs so easily?!?
Thanks for fucking me in last night
TUCKING. TUCKING ME IN LAST NIGHT
if you were broke and planning on using koolaid as a tequila chaser which flavor would you pick?
I had sex while watching Lord of the Rings last night. I think I just reached a new level of nerd.
Some sorority went “Dick or Treating” at a frat house and now the Halloween parties are canceled
Randomize