I just put out an orange level terrorist threat on her punani
is it wrong that i plan on stealing a few pipecleaners from my preschool classroom to clean my bowl?
just woke up to overhearing her on the phone saying "yeah we fucked last night, that makes 42." should i get tested?
well i fucked her too, so yes.
you were so high that you made a 14 page PowerPoint on why Santa would beat Peter pan in a fight.
and I must say, you were very persuasive
The lady at the touchless car wash just gave me the look of death. How do I say, "sorry it's not my puke" in Spanish?
I think I get why guys like boobs so much. I just motorboated myself and it's fun. My boobs feel soft and squishy on my face.
Yeah, I wish I could have one upped you. But all I did was ride circles around a cop on a stolen bicycle while laughing at him for telling me to stop riding on the sidewalk.
You were being mean. And telling everyone to suck your six inch strap on. People were not pleased
Please be lying.
Im not. Your family was creeped out
I woke up in a tutu and topless. How was your night?
my throat is bruised, my back is scarred, my vagina feels like it's going to fall off.. you're like godzilla. you destroy everything.
I woke up this morning with a text from my mom as to why the hell random people were showing up at the house. Turns out nobody came to our house party because I gave them my old address, fuck pre-partying for real
The only times we have to apologize in this friendship is when you intentionally punch me and that's only happened once so it's okay
3 cups of coffee and some molly. The "Tay's Day Off Diet"
His acid is intense dude. I was just over at his place laughing about the hole in the wall I was convinced was a cat
I got kicked out of the E.R. for saying "balls".
Randomize
