Yes. UR adorable in a weird way.
So the D.A.R.E. essay I helped my tutor kid write won an award. Oh the irony.
i just realized i have an entire drawer dedicated to the clothes of guys ive shacked with...
It was her 21st and she had one drink and fell asleep. I hate 90lb girls.
please just be careful, i just switched my facebook status to "in a relationship", i would look really pathetic if i had to change it back to "single" already
For public speaking we have to bring an object that describes us to class. Can't decide if I wanna bring a flask or a shot glass.
Anderson Cooper just came out.
Crying tears of glitter and rainbows right now. Gonna decorate my dildo like My Little Pony in his honor.
Operation "Inform her family she stars in a sadistic lesbian porn film" is in full effect. She picked the wrong guy to cheat on.
Do u feel more socially accepted since someone else made up their girlfriend too?
She tried to beat him up using a half gallon of Bacardi, instead she got tangled in Kayla's hanging bra and broke a lamp. She can party with us anytime.
I was doing karaoke to "baby got back" and apologizing for being white at the same time.
Awk moment when I forgot to tell my hookup about visitor parking so he got towed
sober me is the one who makes bad decisions every boyfriend I've ever had I met sober
Sorry, my phone died and I decide to charge my vibrator instead. #priorities
I collect Covid conspiracy theories like I collect Pokemon.
Randomize
