Just shot my load on a stink bug. Thought you should know.
I need to get the stench of sex and broken dreams out of my room
Gooodnight my beautiful sex angel. Much luvz for joo, etceteraz
He needs to respect me before he can fuck me with cat ears on.
All i want to do is drink fuck and cry... you dont have to cater all three its more like the saddest choose your own adventure ever
He followed me on twitter after I posted a drunk screen shot of a tweet. It's like he gave me permission to stalk him on a whole different level.
I think I'd be more bothered by his cross dressing if I wasn't secretly into women..,
I was proudly and successfully the first girl ever to get kicked out of a the bar for being too drunk last night. Loving spring break.
I needed tweezers to get my thong out of my ass this morning.
Today I learned I and my bar naps were the subject of a bar meeting.
They had like literally all the dildos. It looked like a seance for dick. I left the apartment and haven't been back.
I mean I made my therapist laugh so hard she cried....so yes, my life is literally a joke to everyone
Day drunk. He was sitting in the back seat, opened the door, leaned out, and peed right there in the dutch bros drive through. No one even noticed haha
Shit happens dude.
Shit doesn't just HAPPEN on the kitchen floor you asshole.
so i may or may not have just had sex on the stage of the lecture hall....
Randomize
