Girls don't like it when you cum inside them and then discuss baby names.
Please stop sending me picture messages of your shit. Seriously. I don't care if it looks like popcorn chicken.
4 maple syrup blunts. Decided to sit on my roof and count the snowflakes that landed on my tongue. 84.
You ruined his night from a different state? Impressive.
You don't understand how difficult it is to give head with cotton mouth
yeah he was eating me out and i didnt know someone made popcorn so I thought the smell was comming from my vagina
wtf
Its official. I've reentered slutty territory. I was a condom away from having sex in a childs playhouse at a park. Oh and I lost my car keys.
who knew i was capable of sobriety and human-like emotions all in the same night?
There's a girl in the bathroom crying about something having to do with cream cheese.
Last year I got a dildo in the mail on my birthday. Today it was just a credit card bill. Sadface.
In my top drawer right now, there are see's chocolates, condoms, weed, and my vibrator. One way or another, this is going to be a good night
I would fuck him just for his dog
Drunk sperm are not productive sperm.
Two of my dealers just made friends at this party. Do you think one will be pissed if I buy from the other or should I just go 50/50?
I snuck a teenager into a club last nite, I felt like such a criminal. It was Awsome
Randomize
