Dude ! Why is there vomit with whole pieces of sushi in the shower when the toilet is not more than 2 feet away ? btw you need to chew your food better,
Bouncy castle Catalina wine-mixer race for the cure. It will be as fun as it sounds
It is too early in this hangover to be seeing some guys ass crack.
His thanks his mom for not having an abortion at his wedding toast. I love frat weddings.
Well, that now makes it the 4th girlfriend in a row to cheat on me. I don't even care anymore...I'll date a prostitute and not even worry.
I'm not saying you did or didn't sleep with him but he's has your thong hanging from his ceiling fan
But really- as the voice of your vagina I am BEGGING you to do it. If not for yourself than for your poor innocent puss
My roommate definitely just walked in on me playing the piano naked.
By piano you mean.....
Like literally a piano.
Ohhhh that's kind of embarrassing.
You thought there were zombies attacking us so you tried to tuck and roll out of a moving vehicle. Also you should consider wearing underwear
I don't want to go back to the suburbs. Being drunk in public isn't ok and theres too many children. Don't make me.
Honey...this isn't my 20's. This is my 30's. I paid for this house and these expensive ass sheets to fuck in them. Get your ass over here.
I feel like I should send her I'm sorry I've been fucking your boyfriend flowers.
Is it too much to ask for 10 minutes of privacy while I masturbate?
I got home and he was wearing a suit. He said he reason was because it was shirt and tie Saturday and that he won't change until midnight. He then proceeded to answer the door in a British accent.
I know you think you’re ready to graduate but just keep these things in mind: taxes, I get up at 5 AM every morning, I have to buy vegetables when I go grocery shopping, and I can’t wear sweat pants to work. Take that victory lap and enjoy the sweat pants and bar hopping because it goes downhill real quick.
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