I regularly think about how cool your nickname is
3 different guys in my psych class know me as 3 different names and said hi to me with all 3 different names-Andrea, Grace, and Bella
I've never been more proud of you
you took a scissor and started screaming "I WANNA KNOW WHAT ITS LIKE TO BE BALD"
I'm not sure what's more surprising, the fact that she said I reminded her of Danny Devito, or the fact that it got me laid.
Def regretting not writing "will blow for extra credit" on my last final
You guys don't happened to be dressed as gladiators, do you?
And I kind of want to stare at skinny jonah hill like a weird zoo exhibit lol.
I'm taking tokes in the bath tub, come if you want, I'm naked and you have to bring chicken nuggets or else you can't come in
He did a line of coke off my stomach then flipped me over and smacked my ass. Then, while he was talking dirty to me, he told me he wanted to hire someone to clean my room. And that's when he lost his boner. Life is so hard.
I responded with "neat-o burrito" to his SEXT...he tried so hard and I just panicked.
I said he looked like a lumberjack and that's when he came. I guess he liked the beard compliment?
I woke up in the basement of a pizza restaurant... I would say the tequila hit me pretty hard.
The amount of dicks I have seen in the last hour is more than I have seen in my whole life.
I'm hosting my annual valentine's day party tomorrow with every hookup I've ever had. thoughts on how it will turn out ??
Of course I'm watching space shows while stoned on the science channel. Why would I want to learn while not baked out of my skull?
Randomize
