Tell Heather sorry for burning her hair. Also for anything else that I may have done that warrants and apology. Anything after about 10pm is kind of hazy.
just dropped my bong into 7 pieces, and carried the glass shards around my house. dad saw the blood dripping down my arms, and asked if i slit my wrists. way too high to laugh at this.
We started hooking up and a group of freshmen outside my window started chanting my name. Encouraging yet distracting
mom in a round about way told me to either donate my eggs or become a surrogate bcuz I need money.
My vagina supports interfraternal relations
there's nothing weirder than waking up to your mom eating breakfast on the couch that you fucked her coworker on last night.
Someone broke into my car and stole it then left me $300 to pay for the damages with a lovely note that said "we just couldn't pass up the boxed wine... Sorry about the window."
I think I'm the only sober person in the whole bar. If you count drinking less than 10 tequilas sober.
Def just threw up beer then brushed my teeth with some randos toothpaste now back to drinkin beer
He was asleep with his head on a windowsill and you were petting his head, then you almost left the kitchen and then went back to pet him some more.
Maybe he injected his testicle?
He sent me a selfie with his cat. He has found a way to my heart. And pants.
I'm looking for whatever I can find, and afford without having to eat my emotional support cat
She was doing drunken zumba and screaming "FUCK YOU I HAVE MY OWN STYLE!" at the TV
Did you wake up next to Karina?
So that's her name
Randomize
