biggest mistake ever: halloween 2009
I just made a 90's Nickelodeon TV theme song power hour mix...I don't want to build it up but your head might explode
so apparently dipping a tampon in red gatorade and throwing it out the window on the highway is a $100 fine
as he pulled out he yelled "no kids!" and then passed out on top of me
BAHHAHHAHHAHAHHA SOME ASS IS BIYING NE DRHBKS. DRUBK
Dating Detox Day 5: had to go out and buy new batteries. this may be harder than I thought
Im going to hell in a hand basket. With a ribbon tied to my head. I'll be like a puppy for the devil.
You talked about giving to sperm banks on a first date. What did you expect?
Matt just ate a burger out of the trash can in front of the McDonalds. We need to have a serious talk about his drinking.
I just ate beer and cupcakes for breakfast.... maybe this fourth of july won't be so bad
It was a "my chaser needed a chaser" kind of night
I think he knows I took a picture of him. Why I don't get punched in the face more often is anyone's guess.
My mom just asked if I've gotten any girls pregnant how is your day going
sober me thinks like you do. drunk me needs sober me's advice. am i allowed to go to his house?
No one can explain why there is Dora the Explorer shampoo in my shower...
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