Leave Me Alone
At least least me cry on your voice mail
Any time before 12:00pm. Can go fuck itself.
ive been a drunken mess for the last 5 days. i feel like a 19 year old again
chugging beers on the train. people are staring. I would be offended if it wasn't 8:30
i just peed with my friends in your backyard... do you still live here
she's crying and begging for her chapstick and insisting on walking home...her every thursday ritual
Ok now I cleared out half the bar and Em and I have 5 Jameson shots lined up for you. You have 15 min.
Who is Katie and why do we have her birthday cake?
You asked me to text you at 11 and remind you that he's 33. It's 11:20. He's 33.
you're too late. he has eggnog and whiskey and all seven seasons of buffy. I shan't be coming home tonight
You want to get day drunk this afternoon and watch these guys build a house across the street?
On the upside I'm hairless from the waist down. On the downside, I just chemically burned my labia
I got drunk by myself and ended up listening to Beethoven in the dark.
We tried to do sophisticated last night, but our low class kept shining through.
I told him he looked like my uncle.
Why would you say that in a bathtub?
hurry there's a jack Daniels slip n slide and clothes are coming off faster than I can even comprehend oh thank god for autocorrect
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