he kept bringing up different times we had sex and i wouldnt say anything back. i would never confirm nor deny the situation...like a politician ya kno
Well I tried to steal a golf cart. I fought with the Chick-Fil-A cow. And other things.
I stopped in the middle of puking to wish you a happy birthday, so by default it means a lot.
She's just done the monthly not prego dance around our kitchen
A nap. You broke your hand napping in Vegas.
I had a dream that I had to take a breathalyzer but then it turned out to be a bong....why can't that be real life?
Me too, I feel like I pinched your nipples excessively. At the time it seemed like a good idea, but in retrospect I'm not so sure.
But I do cardio so I don't get winded during sex really it's not like I'm trying to lose weight
Note to self: don't try to shave your legs when sex-sore. You CANT reach, stop trying.
I just want to give face wipes a shout out for being there when im too tired or high to wash my face at night
I like how I just yelled in the window at Mcdonalds drive thru, got his number and then fucked. it was like I ordered a happy meal that only can be had after midnight.
Owwww. A manager/ employee sex scandal that DOES NOT involve me! SCORE!!!
Let's drink tonight I promise I'll make it out of the house
“before I show up tits a blazing, what’s the sexual temperature here?“
We were having sex and he started doing some weird swivel move. I was like wtf and he said sorry just trying to pop my knee.
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