sometimes i wish i had a whole other life to spend on youtube
at a party and just made O-H-I-O out of dicks and vajayjays...i hope someone took a pic i was too busy (; GO BUCKS!!!
you'd be confused too if you woke up to pictures of a ghostbuster doing body shots off you.
he was CRYING into my vagina
At least my shower head will respect me in the morning.
6 other girls and I took an ice cream truck to the bar when we couldn't get a cab. Best birthday ever.
But then he started to talk about his wedding he wants and I quote " and yes parts will be choreographed"
we bribed her with croutons and jello shots.
He kept stopping sex to whisper in my ear, and the only thing I could understand was "double stuffed oreos"
He kissed my hand AND my forehead. I don't think this virginity business is for heartless whores like us.
I don't think you understand. I woke up under the car. At 3 am. In the club parking lot.
Masturbating during the Olympics and cumming during the national anthem really is everything it's cracked up to be. Just thought you should know.
There's no sexy way to moan the name Ernest. Or Ernie. This relationship is fucked
I put miralax in my rum/coke. Go hard or go home.
I'm disproportionately drunk. But I also spelled disproportionately right twice so maybe I'm not that drunk
Randomize
