We agreed on being friends w/ benefits. Lets see if that really happens.
Ok, so that was not supposed to go to u, my bad. I feel horrible.
We should have parties more often. I ended up with 90 beers and someone cleaned my toilet.
yeah so our basement was flooded 4 feet. we just smoke and drank and then went swimming. gotta make the best out of it
when she asked me if it was possible to swim under north america i knew it was time to leave.
I tapped out to boredom. She bought me a full meal at Subway. Two tap beers and a pretty weak long island iced tea. I'm five dollars cheaper to fuck than she is.
I'm going to appeal my grade. Is it better to look studious or slutty?
smelt my brothers hands when he got home to see if he lied about smoking again...he didn't lie but i definitely didn't expect to smell some other girls vagina.
Today is definitely a "stand over the toilet and pee through the opening at the bottom of my boxers" kind of day.
I guess the silver lining is that having a big dick really comes in handy when you're hungover.
It's a mixed blessing.
Sometimes you gotta take mushrooms and swim on a rooftop pool to figure out your relationship
that was THE gayest party i've ever been to
To be fair, the theme was Cabaret. I don't know what you were expecting.
You know what I realized today? That my biggest regret of freshman year was ditching you and that foam party to have a one night stand with a skinny jean wearing vocal major.
I am concerned for your priorities but also really flattered. Flattery wins
You seriously don't remember crying about how much you miss your mom right before we hooked up?
Just had to stop myself from doing a bump on the Disney bus. The struggle is real.
look when god gives you a dick that good for his son's birthday you don't question it
Well she's 'call Wayne Gretzky a whore' drunk so you tell me.
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