I murdered the dance floor call the cops
I have no idea who these bands are he's listening to. If his current playlist was a pandora station, however, it would be titled "music for closet cock gobblers"
What's the name of that girl you hooked up with? The one that looks like the fire hose sign.
Go for the frenulum. Its like eating a popsicle. They go nuts with that shit.
I get way too drunk to be trusted with family heirlooms
She made me role-play everything from an older prof to a in-patient in need of a medical exam. Yay for cocaine.
We had sex under a tree in his boss's backyard, then I hooked up with his best friend. I don't even care how I got home.
I'm just so happy. I go to sleep and when I wake up there will be chocolate milk and penis.
These kids are nice. Shrooms make everything so nice.
So, I actually said the words "but face tattoos are sexy"
Like either my tits got bigger or I've succumbed to Trumps tiny hand syndrome
Oh god theyre drunkenly throwing knifes now, definitely the best movie I've worked on
Apparently I was so drunk last night I got stuck in the revolving door at the hotel. They have suveliance vidoes of it.
I'm basically cruising around listening to 90's gangsta rap with my meatball sub telling people to go fuck themselves
I can't imagine a friend I would rather lose my virginity to in a threesome.
Randomize
