i'm gonna be such a cougar when i'm older...i just facebook stalked my little sister's 13 yr old boyfriend while drinking a bottle of wine....
Was just grinding with my bio TA. She asked why i wasnt studying
The lesbians are drunkenly meowing in the hallway again. This is the shit I'll miss at home.
I bought a fake diamond ring to wear, not only to bars to keep the creeps away, but so that I'll be judged less by the front desk girl at Planned Parenthood
dudes here are drinking wine, and not in the forgivable 'just doing this to get laid' way
I was afraid that she would smell her boyfriend's penis on my breath while we were talking.
The only thing that made me get out of bed this morning was knowing that tonight, I don't plan on remembering what happened today
In the midst of you puking your guts out, you stopped, looked at the globe in front of you and whispered "America.."
I took the pregnancy test for shits and giggles, but neither shits nor giggles were had.
went back to my college bar last night. Bar tender doesn't remember my name but remembers me as margarita girl...I'm not even mad though
Im including "no monologues past 1am" in the list of apartment rules. Theatre majors dude.
and you fell through a lawn chair
it's unicorns you uncultured swine
Just got done being naked and Mooning the cops. I'm still alive. Let's drink.
It's not even noon yet and I just fucked my professor's son in the psych lab..it's gonna be a great day.
Randomize