Houston.. we have a drinking problem..
Does adding vodka to a protein shake defeat the purpose?
I did not just catch my dad watching porn.I did not just catch my dad watching porn. I did not just catch my dad watching porn.I did not just catch my dad watching porn. I did not just catch my dad watching porn. I did not just catch my dad watching porn. I did not just catch my dad watching porn.
I'm either watching Fifth Element or Hotel Rwanda. There's black people and white people and high life tall boy 18 packs are $11.99 so I could be watching my own hand. I have no idea.
i googled waterboarding like you asked. as long as you do it outside. we have carpet. but i wont be a part of it.
his mom walked in, looked at me, sighed n nsaid 'when are u gonna learn' n walked out
do you know how hard it is to pee with a pumpkin in the toilet ?
The number of times I've puked in the Walgreens bathroom is becoming way too many for my pride.
My aunt comes over, haven't seen her in 4 years. First thing, looks me up and down and goes "...yup, that pair ripened nicely. Theyll get you some free drinks"
I think you were raised by the wrong sister
Did you cry?
I don't think so. I definitely lost my cool though
Yeah i think jesus would lose his cool in that situation
Remember that time I hopped home naked from the bar, then tried to convince you I was ok to drive you home? Good call on the taxi.
I'm the Oprah of jello shots
I mean, it's a romantic picture of pubes if I've ever seen one
She drunkenly texted me about Japanese mythology at four AM. I think I’m in love.
Truth. Though I have held steadfast to the notion while the rest of you wavered. I had faith in his homosexuality.
Randomize
