Journey is playing on the radio....I think it is a sign I am going to pass my drug test
You going to midnight mass? we need a dd
He sat on a barstool and did the robot for 3 hours - I'm pretty sure he enjoyed himself.
I'm still reeling over the fact that you beat us all at Risk while you were flat on your ass drunk and falling asleep on South America.
just got high and bedazzled my bra. other than bleeding from the prongs life is so good.
I just asked my hair stylist how many percocets she'd do my hair for.
She's dressed as Musafa. How could this not be a good idea?
Dude they even gave me free lube for being tested! Best. Hiv test. EVER.
shouldve known this week was gonna be bad when I threw up in my coffee mug
The baby slept soo good last night. Its like he knows the importance of me being intoxicated all weekend.
He came into the hospital yelling "HEY EVERYBODY! REMEMBER ME?"
I've officially done it all, fucked a girl wearing a twister board. ABC parties are amazing!
now to finish some work and then i think i'll work out. or garden. or at the very least I'll continue eating frozen grapes and take more drugs
idk what happened last night but i just wokeup with nothing on but a necklace...what is this, the fucking titanic?
I've been in town for almost 36 hrs and I haven't made out with a stranger yet - I consider THAT a record!
Randomize
