So I've officially decided that I AM that drunken mistake that girls hate themselves for in the morning.
I'll just wear something slutty to the liquor store and hope for the best
that's your solution for everything
I'm in Target and the lady in front of me is buying three Summer's Eve douches, a box of fishsticks and a giant bottle of vodka. The sad thing is I get it.
he made a joke about you fucking his daughter...i think youre golden
Apparently I was pointing at birds and yelling "YOU USED TO BE A DINOSAUR!!!"
You were almost as fucked up as I was the night I hooked up with a bob saget look alike...
its like the body should be a temple but we treat it like a kmart
You should really trust me on this one. "hit it and quit it" might not be the best career move on your part...
She wanted me to watch her masterbate and after she thanked me for a wonderful evening and left. This state is weird.
If it meant we had chicks like that every weekend I would gay marry the shit out of you dude
Im having a st. Get way fucked till i speak Irish pre game party. Bring a compass cause we are about to get lost
I'm trying. I feel like we're trying to have sex with fruitcake. dry and boring.
The profile of her ass is just unreal. Weird way to use profile I know, but never more accurate
From what I heard you ordered him to lick your balls. Unless you've kept a huge secret I understand his confusion.
Are you trying to say I've made an emotionally well rounded transformation similar to the Grinch?
Randomize
