I thought you should know that you passed out in your trash can last night.
Thanks for throwing up on me.
You came in at two thirty, wearing your underwear and a tie then asked where you could find a sombrero and a pair of stilletos that would fit your men's size thirteen feet.
We did face masks and fucked...he really isn't gay, what they say about europeans is just true
New low, passed out while taking a shit for an hour with my parents home, suprised they didnt notice
and then she started to quack like a duck and u started throwing bread at her
So then you challenged the bartender to an arm wrestling contest for a free bottle of vodka
Sweet. Did I win?
Youre hungover arent you?
It's been two days. I am still burping up jello. Everything tastes like jello. Everything smells like jello. I am DONE with jello shots.
I have a breathe right strip stuck to my forehead, several inexplicable bruises and I think someone tried to paint my nails with glue, but I still have my Santa hat. I'm gonna call this one a success.
Still butthurt there's a framed picture of me passed out on the toilet in my grandparents' living room
Pretty good. They took the stitches out but it still hurts like a bitch. The doctor says I should be off crutches by next week.
Well, that's good. Let's hope drunk you doesn't sabotage you.
Let's knock shit down like godzilla and have intense sex in the rubble
I'm high. ignore me
I'm basically the yoda of knowing when someone wants to sleep with you
Typical. We're ready to go, and you're not wearing pants.
Well the cops were called after the kid fell, but we saw 4 cute guys from our window while it was going down, so it wasn't all that bad.
You stocked up?
No actually didn’t get a chance. If you wouldn’t mind bringing me a brownie and a bottle of Jameson that’d be nice
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