wtf he couldnt undo my bra, i asked him if it was his first time and he said "with a girl? yeah"
I have sucked so much dick this week I think I am going to start sweating semen
Its really not funny anymore. I need to stop shaving while i'm drunk
i wanna anger bang this girl behind me at work. she never shuts up with her annoying voice. but her boobs are phenom.
This glow in the dark vibrator will get me through this power outage
I managed to lose everything but my socks.. which stayed on all 6 times we had sex.
I think we got naked. I can't remember but if you have "friends" written on your ass, then we did. Because I have "best" on mine.
Wanna get really high and go on a Valentine's Day Sexathon cause we're both single or would that be weird?
somehow I feel like "adventures with cocaine and molly" wouldn't be an appropriate "How I Spent My Spring Break" essay topic.
I made everything so magnificently awkward in under 15 seconds. I am magic.
I just realized in a weird reversed way I hustled a stripper last night
I'm driving home wearing one sock, boxers, and a tee shirt. That's how good it was
He's standing in the corner rubbing his nipples and reflecting on poor life choices
OH MY GOD YOU GUYS I JUST FOUND OUT I HAD PHONE SEX THE OTHER NIGHT
I had to ask my mom to look for my kegle ball...
Randomize
