I DID IT WITH MY SOCKS ON!
i wonder how he feels talking to my mother about jesus with a condom on his dick
why is there a sandwich nailed to the wall
we turned studying into a drinking game, she drinks when she gets it right, i drink when she gets it wrong. so we'll be out soon
woke up naked, gf gone. There is a cup of change in the fridge, a bird in the bathroom, and odie is drawn on my ceiling. I live in a non sequitur
I didnt realize my nipple ring fell out until he coughed it up.
It wouldn't have been a big thing. If anything, I woulda apologized to you and cleaned the remote
Solid teamwork gives us a good shout of both bringing home trophy cougs
I come bearing gifts of whiskey and vagina
HELP A SISTER OUT. AND KEEP YOUR TONGUE OUT OF THE HUMMUS.
TOO HIGH TO FIGURE THIS SHIT OUT
My parents got me a bottle of vodka and a puke bucket for christmas. I've already used both.
Below this exterior of ice is a layer of cum. Followed by a pool of gin. More cum. Then, finally a heart.
You asked for his ID and then said "I am like a bouncer but for my vagina."
We just had can't-look-you-in-the-eye sex and it was still surprisingly good
I have a mailbox and I don't know why.
Randomize
