Fine. I'll sleep in my office
I puked the same amount of times as the number of bars i went to last night
I totally have a Rabbi on speed dial now. Keep it Kosher.
Im gonna name my vag after egypt, "the valley of kings"
guess who just trotted in eating her oats and wagging her penis
She says ass holes are for stuffing, the verb, not stuffing, the noun.
You're the only chick there. That's not an orgy, that's called a gang bang...
i just entered cocaine into my calorie counter.
That's fine. It's not illegal to bring ham into a museum.
... and smoked a joint with my new landlord. I'm starting to like Germany.
It was 6am and he went immediately for the 69. WTF?? 6am is WAY to early for acrobatics.
I'm handling the NHL draft worse than getting dumped this week
Look, I tried but his dick tasted like disappointment.
Also I feel like death. But like. In a good way
I am just High Enough to train A-Team of bodybuilding squirrels MMA techniques to tear you asunder. And it's not that I want to is just don't you make me do it!
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