just fyi, hangover + ice skates = really bad idea
Had to use Google translator to be able to tell the cleaning lady not to throw away the condoms we have strategically placed throughout the house.
We Started drinking at 8am and left the bar around 11pm....I hate ALL green things
She showed up to the party with a live octopus and a 30 pack that was already half gone
I have a pocket in my purse that is just for condoms and cocktail swords. I feel like that speaks volumes about me as a person
just cuz theres a goalie doesnt mean i cant commandeer the goal and become a way better goalie
But you've got to admit , for how blackout I was I look fucking unreal in those pictures
I just rolled an Obama blunt and a Romney shame joint for tonight. Vote wisely.
Well I can't go home with anyone tonight bc I stuffed my bra
Dude this weed smells so good they should make it into a Vicks vapor rub scent and I would rub it all over myself.
I saw a classic trojan enz laying on his desk. So he's probably not into the kinky shit.
We had a moment of silence for all of the orgasms he gave me with his beard before he shaved it off.
I did not pay that kind of money so that It could be hidden. that bra needs to shine in glory so that it can be seen by the world.
my very deepest apologies for the unintentional cock block.
She drank my rum. I had sex in her bed and didn't wash the sheets. We're even.
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